We need a break after 300+ comments on the last thread….and this is all there is: apologies to anyone offended, but in all fairness, this is my first smutty doggerel here….I shan’t make a habit of it….

I fondled lovely Miss McCleod,
Palpated all her hills and dales;
When all at once she cried aloud:
A ghostly haunting banshee wail….

130 Responses to “Wordsworth’s worse words….”

  1. ropeofsand Says:

    “doggerel’s insane,
    wordsworth, a bad name,
    give me back my head
    for long it has bled!”
    ……………..

  2. MINERVA Says:

    doggerlist,
    You had a blog that attracted very few comments when I entered; with innocence I sought to bolster the number to help. You now have a number of contributors.

    I don’t need the world you and others here live in. I live thankfully in a very peaceful one, in the world of the Spirit of God.

  3. parallax Says:

    behold the snake, down by the knees
    shuddering and lurching in a sneeze

  4. parallax Says:

    Wrapping around from the previous thread:

    mishari says PS-parallax, de-construct away.

    Thanks mishari – when a poem is ‘released’ it takes on a life of its own. For you it was about your trip home from Paris, full of warmth and welcome, but for me it kept niggling away with much darker portent – that’s why I wanted your OK to talk about it because it’s the words and not the author that I’m responding to.

    I’ll paste the poem here so it’s in front of me as I type away:

    Home Is The Hunted

    On the train, I drink and contemplate
    The pleasure of saying,
    “It’s out of my hands”,
    Mine and your fate
    Will be decided on some other date.

    Riding on rails never fails to please,
    I take my ease,
    We’ll get there or we won’t.
    I have another drink.

    At last, I disembark and walk past
    The engine, the sloping predatory snout,
    Like an upside-down shark
    And just as fast.
    Looks like it feeds on badgers
    And suicides.

    At home, my wife says, “You reek
    Of brandy”, but she’s smiling
    And my youngest buries her head
    In the crook between my neck
    And my shoulder, inhales deeply
    And says, “Cigars”. She likes the smell.

    Travelling to my heartland is the
    Journey I like best; always something new
    And strange here; the exotic is far too
    Familiar, the familiar is a mystery.
    Here, I am the monarch of all I survey;
    Or I am when they let me be.

    Ok – first off, I guess the sense of transition is always floating around in any story that has a journey as its momentum; so impending change is mostly what I get from the poem – and ‘hunted’ in the title is definitely edgy – so unease at the outset, but coupled with predatory, shark, and suicides it’s beginning to look pretty sinister…

    Then cigars, brandy, and a distant home that is warm and welcoming, but distinctly separate from the outside world of business and deal-making, takes on a flavour of decadence mixed with völkisch values … then we have ‘heartland’, which has an uncanny resonance with homeland, and given that the poem charts the father’s/monach’s return, (you see where I’m heading?) maybe even ‘vaterland’.

    Bolted on to all this is the core phrase ‘it’s out of my hands’ and with that comes all the pontius pilate washing of the hands connotations …

    ‘Home Is The Hunted’ has been shadowing me for a while now, it spookily resonates with a Weimar/Nazi cusp in time. If it was taken out of the context of poet (mishari) and time (2008) it could easily be critiqued as the moment in the Isherwood era when fascism began its catastrophic rise.

    All in all, it’s very disturbing, and I wonder if it is picking up reverberations in the current political climate?

    A great poem, mishari – thanks for letting me mess with its interpretation.

    And no, I’m not suggesting you’re a fascist ….
    :)

  5. parallax Says:

    hey where did the cool smiley dude with sunnies come from? that should have been 2008 inside brackets

  6. don pepito Says:

    parallax, imagine you going to sleep when i wake up or viceversa) :)

    ~~~~~~

    doggerel, after giving some thought to spam cases you suffer, the whois’ searches and other suspicious things, haven’t you thought of the most obvious, simple answer? Of course, you’re wise. I can’t spell it out because they would call me a conspirationalist. but there you are.

    ~~~~~

    On a more joyful note:

    art pepper = Picasso (cubist period)
    freepoland= Max Ernst
    melton mowbray= Hunderwasser
    billy mills = joan miro

    ~~~~~~~~

    (finding matches for the others, they will come!)

  7. don pepito Says:

    “I don’t need the world you and others here live in. I live thankfully in a very peaceful one, in the world of the Spirit of God.”

    that’s cute!

  8. mishari Says:

    What a fascinating take on it, para. It’s odd that you should mention the political and cultural climate. Although it hadn’t been my intention to make my concerns explicit in the poem, I have been reading and thinking about fascism.

    In the weeks preceding that poem I’d read American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America by Chris Hedges, The Politics of Cultural Despair; A Study in the Rise of Germanic Ideology by Fritz Stern and on that actual train journey, I’d been reading I Will Bear Witness 1942-1945: A Diary of the Nazi Years by Victor Klemperer. And it’s true that the rise of a new fascistic world order is something that has been worrying me a lot of late.

    How strange that you should pick up the echoes of it. Either my preoccupations are not nearly as discreet as I think they are or your antennae are remarkably sensititive. Perhaps both…but thanks for a fascinating analysis…

  9. MINERVA Says:

    Parallax,
    Well you are picking up, I think a little.

    Mankind is a pawn to the spiritual world, but inbuilt is reason and that we need to exercise. Otherwise we are, merely animals.

    My reason was necessary in this exercise, I was after all, a dummy; but then that has been the case many times.

    I start,
    In the heavens sat they down
    The chess board on the table
    The pieces set to play….

    then the game continued….

    an analogy to this is the story of Job…

  10. MINERVA Says:

    sorry ropeofsand,
    no go.

  11. Little Rabbit Fooey Says:

    I fondled lovely Miss McCleod,
    Palpated all her hills and dales;
    When all at once she cried aloud:
    A ghostly haunting banshee wail.
    Beside the bed, beneath my knees,
    A-screechin’ and a-yellin’, ‘No more puhleeeze!’…

  12. MINERVA Says:

    Ah,

    Little RabbitFooey, you are making me wonder who Miss McCleod is? Perhaps a figment of your imagination….

  13. Billy Says:

    Also from the previous: Arties is not a typo, it’s a small village in the Spanish Pyrenees, with a very lovely Romanesque church.

  14. Billy Says:

    BTW, parallax, thanks for picking out ‘Immrama’. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m quite pleased with it myself. I liked all the poems you mentioned, and more besides. Have you seen freep’s latest on the Memory thread?

  15. Little Rabbit Fooey Says:

    Hi Minnie. Did you mean fig leaf and yes if so? Hey this is doggerel’s place and I know where mine isn’t. Dunno why the Artie-Tartie real poets aren’t helping him out, is all, and I thought I’d help him kick things off even if I’m keeping my clothes and Manohlos on.

  16. mishari Says:

    Yes, freep’s poem is very fine, (nothing new there), and inspired me to write my inferior effort on the vagaries of memory.

  17. wordnerd7 Says:

    No inferior efforts _here_, Misharious. . .

  18. wordnerd7 Says:

    Sorry not to have been able to return in time to answer about Wid on the GUsundheit, dgg, . . . hope that your trenchant analysis of the problems at that site did wonders for lamppost sniffing stats.

    Well, yes, . . . this latest _did_ raise an eyebrow. Ahem. But about this . . .

    ‘in all fairness, this is my first smutty doggerel here….I shan’t make a habit of it….’

    Do you suppose any of us believe that for a second?

    cynicalsteve
    Comment No. 483342
    April 26 (2007) 12:51

    I wandered, desperate for a piss
    Whilst walking by the Canyon Grand
    Dare I let fly o’er the abyss?
    Or should I use a rubber band….

    cynicalsteve
    Comment No. 489004
    May 1 (2007) 10:45

    Whoops – that would be me with the superfluous apostrophe….but it’s (ha!) still a terrible poem – its (HA!) iambicness notwithstanding…. ;-)

    I wondered ’bout that airborne kite
    That floats on high oe’r “that’s” and “it’s”
    When all at once I saw the light
    And realised that “its” best fits…

    . . . Promises, promises . . .

    :)

  19. wordnerd7 Says:

    Just to make my earlier note to Misharious clear . . . I meant, I haven’t seen anything by him here that would fit the description. If he means, at the other place, I wouldn’t know — there are often long gaps between my post-scannings, over there.

  20. freepoland Says:

    parallax, thanks for the appreciation of mish’s poem, which I’d been meaning to say that I liked very much too, more than any other of his offerings. It stuck in my mind…’the familiar is a mystery’ and, in particular I liked the title – an echo of Robert Louis stevenson (nearly my favourite writer), and in some odd way, the ‘hunted’ takes on universal connotations when later the poem returns to a warm and affectionate domesticity …. It is hard to use excessive compliments in this everyday and fleeting medium, but I think it is a great poem; the risk at the end of the throwaway line , ‘Or I am when they let me be.’ comes off.

    It must be the spam that’s giving everyone bad teeth.

  21. MINERVA Says:

    Perhaps there is a lesson for all of us, namely,
    if we are not invited in to comment, or speculate on another, then we shouldn’t and any action for another party, at any time, would only be done and endorsed with their sanction.
    Aside from that, it would always surely have been known, we should not judge.

  22. freepoland Says:

    wordy, if it’s got an ‘o’er’ in it, it’s a proper poem.

  23. doggerelist Says:

    Tactful and considerate though it was to see parallax ask permission before commenting on Mishari’s poem, I’ve always assumed that anything posted online is fair game for comment….and surely no-one posts any verse thinking it can be ring-fenced against comment (or disapproving sniffs, as with Miss McCleod….) :-)

    Poets and doggerelists should in my view be limited to a handful of “o’er”s in a lifetime….

  24. mishari Says:

    …archaic constructions show serious intent..or just save the metre. Get o’er it, cs.

  25. mishari Says:

    PS, I agree with Steve. It was very courteous of para to ask but there was really no need. Like cs, I think that if you post work on a public forum, any comment is fair, for better or worse.

  26. mishari Says:

    PPS- and thanks for the generous words, freep…

  27. Billy Says:

    With ne’er an o’er nay poem he’ll make
    Nor wind the wind for auld time’s sake.

  28. mishari Says:

    PPPS- (I really must stop this), RLS has long been one of my favourites. freep. I’ve been after cs to read Travels in the Cevennes With a Donkey and An Inland Voyage for some time…not to mention all the other great stuff, The Silverado Squatters, The Amateur Immigrant, et al…

  29. fmk Says:

    Limited o’ers poetry? How about Twenty20?

  30. freepoland Says:

    mish: It’s a wonderful life’s work, when you think about it, wherever you look – Donkey, Treasure Island, Jekyll & Hyde, Weir of Hermiston … not the mightiest of poets, but always readable pomes. And I think Kidnapped is near perfection for plot and pace. Don’t know if you’ve read his letters, but there’s a Yale Selection (ed Ernest Mehew) in paperback. They are full of life and wit and energy. He writes to his parents like this in May 1883:

    My dearest people, I have had a great piece of news. There has been offered for Treasure Island – how much do you suppose? I believe it would be an excellent jest to keep the answer till my next letter. For two cents I would do so. Shall? Anyway, I’ll turn the page first. No – well – A hundred pounds, all alive, oh! A hundred jingling, tingling, golden, minted quid. Is not this wonderful? …

    It’s humbling to think of this man, ill most of his life, dying at 44, and producing all that magnificent writing.

  31. doggerelist Says:

    “Limited o’ers poetry” :D

    ‘Twould be interesting, contrarily, to see just how many o’ers, ne’ers and the like one could fit into a four-liner….I wonder what the record is….?

  32. mishari Says:

    As you say, freep, a wonderful body of work. I’ve always felt the man’s character shone through his work-amused, tolerant, good-humoured, generous, affectionate, kindly, brave, endlessly curious, never embittered though dogged by ill-health. I would have loved to have met him, but I feel like I know him through his work and I feel a great affection for him.

  33. mishari Says:

    Ne’ermore can’st summon
    My poor dog Rover;
    ‘Twould be well;
    Alas, ’twas Rover passed o’er.

  34. doggerelist Says:

    I’ve no idea whether WW had a dog – but if he did, he’d surely have called him Ro’er….

  35. obooki Says:

    I see BillyMills was mentioned in this place:

    http://this-space.blogspot.com/

    and a few other regulars.

  36. freepoland Says:

    This is for Melton Mowbray.
    I found some fine lines on Wight in the Sonnets of Charles Tennyson Turner. The third line in this garbage is from his sonnet on the Needles Lighthouse. Turner should be revered by all serious doggerelists, as author of the greatest sequence of sonnets on dead dogs, incl ‘The Drowned Spaniel’. He was also adept at o’er and ‘twixt and the rest.

    The Vicar of Ventnor Quails
    at the Approach of a Moorish navy.

    ‘Tis o’er! The Solent’s deepy gulph ere now
    Was ne’er e’er breached by pirates’ whelming prow.
    The mighty Vectian wold and tawny tract
    Of shingle, ‘gainst martial foe all patriots had back’d.

    Yet now, is’t the ruffian Paynim lands unstopt?
    His swart retainers with their foreskins cropt?
    Methought, ‘Ought these our lands in blood be dipt?’
    And in my aw’struck fear crept, crapped in crypt.

  37. fmk Says:

    I’m on t’white cliffs o’ Do’er
    Thinking it o’er ‘n’ o’er
    But if I jump it’s all o’er
    A cautionary tale for you
    I’d like to roll in t’clo’er
    With you o’er ‘n’ o’er
    On t’white cliffs o’ Do’er
    ‘nd then I’d let you push me o’er

    Thank you Blur.

  38. fmk Says:

    Damn, I missed a ’tis. :(

  39. MINERVA Says:

    Thanks fmk,
    If you wish to enrol here, I’m sure you are most welcome o’er and o’er
    doggerelist – your call…again ……o’er…
    and …..(I suspect I am)…… out.
    :) :)

  40. fmk Says:

    Here being where? Are you steve’s new doormat?

  41. MINERVA Says:

    Were you talking to me fmk in your 39?
    I’ll let Steve explain, after all it is his ‘here’

    You see, I’m up for retirement and looking forward to it.

  42. fmk Says:

    That might have been a tpyo. And then again …

  43. wordnerd7 Says:

    Oh what a _scrumptious_ misunderstanding :) . . . [rolls down steep hillside laughing]

    ‘Twasn’t ‘o’er’ but ‘it’s’, m’dears, to which the second cynicalsteve creation from the archives refers . . . something way up-thread in that blog about Daffodils. You’ll just have to read it all to see what he meant, an exercise with a bonus — BM as Bohsfan in haut pontiff mode . . I included it with his Grand Canyon post as another fine example of how Willy’s Daffy’s turn on _all_ his lightbulbs — o’er an o’er again.

    . . . then if you read _after_ cs on It’s, you might learn something important about spending a quarter in San Francisco. . .

    RL Stevenson also a lifelong favorite of this nerd. The earliest lines that have stuck in memory, after nursery rhymes.

  44. fmk Says:

    Minerva – Yes I was. You said “If you wish to enrol here” and I asked you where here was. That too complicated for you? I could do it with single syllables if you need. Or do you need pictures?

    The “doormat” might have been a tpyo. And then again …

  45. wordnerd7 Says:

    ‘I included it with his Grand Canyon post’

    I meant, of course . . . cs’s, not Bohsfan-BM’s . . .

  46. doggerelist Says:

    obooki’s #35 rescued & reinstated – haven’t clicked the link yet but sounds like it might be of interest to people here….

  47. MINERVA Says:

    fmk, re your 43

    and did you miss my 40? :)

  48. fmk Says:

    So you are offering to enrol me in steve’s blog? Is that what you’re saying? Which is basically something you can’t do. Do you normally offer to do things you can’t do? How tiresome.

  49. MINERVA Says:

    Well fmk,
    It was my 40, but with recent insertion al la doggerelist, it now turns out to be 41..(see insertion of obooki’s 35)

    cease Steve, until it sinks in….hold all spam omissions…

  50. wordnerd7 Says:

    ‘how Willy’s Daffy’s’ . . .

    Such infectious confusion! . . . that was meant to be, Willy’s daffies . . .

  51. doggerelist Says:

    Having now read obooki’s link, it seems a GU posse inadvertently lynched someone’s sacred cow….

  52. MINERVA Says:

    fmk, re your 48
    that is one of the reasons I am so thankful I am retiring…
    please review my 39 and my referral to doggerelist.
    However you must now look for another referral; I cannot nominate you.
    I am sure he will arrange.

  53. wordnerd7 Says:

    And ANOTHER tangle . . . no Ming icon, boo hoo hoo . . . :(

    wordnerd7 Said, rendered into Ming:
    July 8, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    ‘how Willy’s Daffy’s’ . . .

    Such infectious confusion! . . . that was meant to be, Willy’s daffies . . .

  54. doggerelist Says:

    When in a hole – dig on…. ;-)

  55. wordnerd7 Says:

    ‘that is one of the reasons I am so thankful I am retiring…’

    You mustn’t even think of retiring, Minerva. You’re a tremendously welcome addition . . .

  56. MINERVA Says:

    wordnerd7
    Are you still laughing! You know what changing and additions do to text when referenced.

    I’m a welcome addition? I’ve been here all along! I taught the invisibles!
    For sanity’s sake, I need to retire.
    No reflection on the invisibles, I’m very happy to know them.

  57. fmk Says:

    Steve: links for you as promised. Try this one, appropriately on enough on (hollow) canned laughter: http://www.16beavergroup.org/mtarchive/archives/000330.php

  58. fmk Says:

    I think I liked something in this one too http://www.lrb.co.uk/v25/n10/zize01_.html although he used the Huntington’s gene quandary a bit too much subsequently. If you’ve already come across him using it, skip this one.

  59. fmk Says:

    This one was more interesting for the timing of it, being early in the debate. Others have probably made his points seem tired by now. http://www.lrb.co.uk/v24/n10/print/zize01_.html

  60. Melton, Marquis de Mowbray, Prince of Sorrento, Lord of the Three Islands, PC, CP etc etc Says:

    Poland, free thyself from the savage claw
    Which dependeth from th’arm of Rooshian bear,
    Take up th’instrument of war and strike the maw
    Which drops its gore ‘pon this Europa fair.

    Britannia is with thee in thy glam’rous fight!
    (Tho’ Ld Palmerston cannot help, ye understand)
    ‘Tis time to stiffen thy Slavick loins and smite
    And so forever wilt thou be free, Poland!

  61. fmk Says:

    This is representative of his editing-on-the-hoof style. http://www.egs.edu/faculty/zizek/zizek-welcome-to-the-desert-of-the-real-1.html It’s the third version of his Matrix=9/11 spiel, put out shortly after the Towers fell. I think if you change the digit at the end of the URL you can access other versions of it.

    It’s actually based on a much older piece, which is the better one being more about films and less about politics. If you liked the Matrix, you’ll love this. And if you didn’t like the Matrix, this might make you love it, a little: http://www.nettime.org/Lists-Archives/nettime-l-9912/msg00019.html

  62. MINERVA Says:

    Seems you might have missed fmk, that I think you are a most welcome addition to Steve’s blog;
    I merely tried to point out that I am not the determinator, nor in any way was it my right to be so.
    and might I say your o’er is exceptional.

  63. freepoland Says:

    MM: Awe fills me. I had quite forgot ‘pon.

  64. fmk Says:

    steve: that’s about all I have on links, you’ll be glad to hear. I was looking for the earliest version of the chocolate laxative one but can’t recall it at this stage, and it’s been repeated so much subsequently that it’s almost impossible to Google swiftly.

    I’m not vouching for the contents of those links, or saying that I agree with them 100%. More they’re the main ones I recall as being entertaining / thought-proving / not too annoying.

  65. doggerelist Says:

    fmk – I’ve read the first two Zizek pieces now: the canned laughter piece had me constantly pressing the “ffs” button….he makes the kind of connections and arguments that are fine as throwaway blog comments, but rather weak on which to base an academic reputation….the second piece on genetics was meatier, although I’ve had similar conversations in various uni coffee rooms – contrary to popular belief scientists take a keen interest in the ethical consequences of developments in their respective fields….

    Thanks for all the links – I’ll read the others later & maybe comment more – but now I have to hand over the computer to M before I get severely battered about the head….

  66. MINERVA Says:

    How facinating,
    We are now moving from o’er to ‘pon,
    —–
    so sorry I had to delete the above line
    ———
    ———
    and even more sorry I had to delete the next two!

  67. wordnerd7 Says:

    Thanks for that link, obooki. ;) Good to see OffClowns being appreciated in other parts of the blogosphere. Would be delightful to see his sharp, clear mind at work over here.

    ‘Are you still laughing! You know what changing and additions do to text when referenced.’

    Harder, dear Min., thanks to the sour humourless one badly in need of bunny-suiting by lovely marionincandenza. Think I might look up that part of the archive next, as I wait for a telephone repair man to appear . . . But I do agree about the chaos that can follow from posting extracts in a hurry — that’s why I posted the link for those cs parodies in 56 . . . That said, I wouldn’t have missed What Hath O’er Wrought for all the world. . . ;)

    Oh Min, . . . who are the invisibles?

  68. fmk Says:

    “he makes the kind of connections and arguments that are fine as throwaway blog comments, but rather weak on which to base an academic reputation”

    Well to be honest, I’ve no idea what makes his *academic* reputation. Just his pop cult one. Maybe Lacan is a cushy ride in academia.

    I’m not sure the comments are as throwaway as you suggest, but do agree about the linkages – always, his linkages seem to stretch a bit far. Which is why, I think, I sometimes find myself only liking parts of the piece and skipping over the awkward bridge bits.

    I’ll have to skim them again, but IIRC the canned laughter one right, I liked the point about interpassivity in it, that everything is enjoyed for us and we don’t have to – aren’t allowed – enjoy things ourselves anymore.

    On the torture one, as I said, timing has altered it. Though it reminds me I must find out if Z has ever said anything about 24. I’ve had the mistfortune of seeing a boxset of it recently, for the first time, and can’t believe how bad it was. A wacky theory from the Slovenian might rescue it for me.

  69. Melton, Duc de la Tour d'Amour. Says:

    Ditto on yours, freep. That ‘deepy gulph’ is a classic coinage. Though, to get Millsian about it, I should point out that Ventnor is on the south side of the Island, so the ‘ruffian Paynim’ wouldn’t have to cross the Solent to invade it, unless they were taking the scenic route.

    On all those contractions, I’ve always assumed (I don’t recall ever discussing it) it was done to fit the words into the metrical scheme. Am I right?

  70. MINERVA Says:

    fmk,
    This isn’t a funny, it is something I need to know….
    would you please check back on the current (as of 11.24 GMT) 37,38,39
    and tell me why you have misunderstood me,
    I write this sincerely, with thoughts of maybe addressing
    ps I think via the right sided brain,
    again not a funny (I am left handed)

  71. fmk Says:

    And what do you know. He *did* write about 24. http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2006/jan/10/usnews.comment Sadly he didn’t save the show for me. And that is a pretty pointless article, reheating the earlier one and ending nowhere.

  72. MINERVA Says:

    Wordnerd,
    You ask ‘who are the invisibles?’
    come on!

  73. fmk Says:

    “On all those contractions, I’ve always assumed (I don’t recall ever discussing it) it was done to fit the words into the metrical scheme. Am I right?”

    That was what I always thought. A way to skip a beat. While looking properly poetic.

    But tell me – can you contract contractionitis by reading too many o’ers and ‘pons and the like? Should this blog be quarantined at this stage?

  74. obooki Says:

    a posse lynching a cow eh?

    i’m beginning to develop this theory that steves don’t get along. i certainly don’t like other obookis.

  75. doggerelist Says:

    Contractionitis: an apostroph’ catastroph’

    I suppose these o’ers & so on started life as metrical aids – but some C18 & C19 poetry (the o’er oeuvre?) gives the impression that they became de rigeur for other, more pretentious, reasons….contemporary oe’rs I would tend to read as tipping the wink that seriousness is not to the fore….

  76. doggerelist Says:

    ‘Twas an interesting link obooki – thanks for that. I’ll be keen to see Billy’s response (if he hasn’t already seen that blog.) There’s a fair degree of intussusception here btw, commenting on this blog about a blog which comments about another blog….

  77. fmk Says:

    So instead of being distracted from distraction by distraction today we blog about blogs about blogs about … things. I really should have found that chocolate laxative, I think. It might have helped me work this one out.

  78. fmk Says:

    BTW steve – I’m counting your symptoms. I think DEFRA might be the responsible agency to call in.

  79. doggerelist Says:

    ….or Ghostbusters….

  80. obooki Says:

    That first Zizek piece, btw, is almost a word for word rendition of a chapter out of How to Read Lacan – without the Lacanian quote about tragic chourses (which is perhaps as well because it’s bollocks). For what it’s worth, I couldn’t agree less with his statement: “When I come home in the evening too exhausted to engage in meaningful activity, I just tune in to a TV sitcom; even if I do not laugh, but simply stare at the screen, tired after a hard day’s work, I nonetheless feel relieved after the show.” – No, I don’t. Usually I hate myself.

  81. fmk Says:

    Wouldn’t Ghostbusters cross the streams? IIRC, t’would be bad. Though DEFRA turn you to toast if they think you’re infected. Maybe a bit of bad mightn’t be too … bad.

  82. fmk Says:

    Yes obooki, I find that statement hard to believe too. Z pigging out in front of the telly when he’s got that hottie to stroke his beard … doesn;t work for me.

    Personally, canned laughter is one of those things I’ve never really liked.

    Curiously though, I like live albums. People cheering for me works so much better than people laughing for me. Go figure that one out.

    But I read recently that there’s a Freudian explanation of why live albums sell so well.

  83. obooki Says:

    “Z pigging out in front of the telly when he’s got that hottie to stroke his beard … doesn;t work for me.”

    How about: “X-rated movies are no longer primarily the means to excite the user for his (or her) solitary masturbatory activity – just staring at the screen where ‘the action takes place’ is sufficient, it is enough for me to observe how others enjoy in place of me.”

  84. doggerelist Says:

    Have just spent an hour in wikiland, starting with Lacan, and following link after link about Sokal, Malley, literary hoaxes and so on….don’t know whether I’ve learnt something, been royally entertained or thrown away an hour of my life….

  85. freepoland Says:

    Loinstiff’ning Melton: Forgot to look closely at Vectian map. Of course I meant the Canon of Cowes, which left a syllable lacking … I think o’er and ‘pon were originally to fix syllabic euphony, but then became markers of a true poetic sensibility and refin’d taste.

  86. Billy Says:

    “I’ll be keen to see Billy’s response (if he hasn’t already seen that blog.)”

    I hadn’t, but now that I have, I don’t see anything worth a reaction. An ad hominem, a quote from one of my comments on the non-novelist, and a complete lack of any attempt to refute my opinion: what’s to respond to? Who owns that blog? Not much cop, whoever they are.

  87. Billy Says:

    And here’s an even better one; a triumph for the Wiki way, for Web 2.0 in general. What an answer!

    http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_the_word_o‘er_mean_in_shakespeare_talk

  88. fmk Says:

    “What an answer!”

    But dammit Billy, what *kind*? Pumpkin?

    “Have just spent an hour in wikiland, starting with Lacan, and following link after link about Sokal, Malley, literary hoaxes and so on”

    Wiki’ll rot your mind. Entertaining as the latter two undoubtedly are.

  89. mishari Says:

    I see that the Comte de Monte Melton has escaped from the Chateau d’if. Let me assure you, my dear Comte, I played no part in grassing you up to les vieux guillaumes. Nor did I steal Mercedes, the fair Catalan from you. I trust you harbour no grudges.

    Yours Faithfully, Fernand Mondego

    PS- Much as I would delight in a re-union, I find I have pressing business in Kirghizstan.

  90. Billy Says:

    fmk: If you want it to be pumpkin, just make it so. It’s the Wiki way. (BTW, I am not responsible for the current answer).

  91. fmk Says:

    Make it so? You’re a Trekkie?!? Ha!Ha!

    And I don’t edit Wiki’s. It’s against my religion.

  92. wordnerd7 Says:

    If the booksblog had sound effects, we’d hear vibrating sonorous snores answering nearly everything on the front page — particularly yesterday’s and today’s additions. . . How many more articles about worthy little bookshops the size of mice teeth, dear Lord, how many more . . . An article about a politician’s reading list that begins by saying that there’s no point taking anything on it seriously because he’s um . . well, immensely compelling . . . BUT, gosh, . . . a politician!

    We should be able to shout, BOOooooo! Point Made Already! . . . by below-the-liners in blogs about Brit politcos! . . . NEXT! . . . and have this feeble attempt at stirring us up instantly replaced.

  93. fmk Says:

    Anyone here done the Gruan’s survey?
    _________

    Journalists are accountable for their contributions by putting their names to the articles that they write.

    Do you think that people who post comments on blogs should be accountable in the same way?

    [Option A] Yes people who post comments on blogs should be accountable for their contributions and lose the option of being anonymous

    [Option B] No people who comment on blogs should not be made accountable for their contributions
    and should have the option to be anonymous

    [Option C] Don’t know / don’t mind
    _________

    In your opinion, which of the following statements best describes the effects of anonymity on blogs?

    [Option A] The quality of blogs is cruder and more aggressive when people who post comments are able to be anonymous

    [Option B] The quality of blogs is better when people who post comments are anonymous because they can be more honest and open with their views

    [Option C] Don’t know / don’t mind
    _________

    Do you think that blogs should be moderated before they are published online?

    [Option A] Yes, moderating blogs would improve the quality, tone and focus of debate

    [Option B] No, moderating blogs would hamper the freedom of debate

    [Option C] Don’t know / don’t mind
    _________

  94. Billy Says:

    fmk: I know some ugly things get said on blogs, but calling me a Trekkie is beyond the pale.

  95. fmk Says:

    You’re right Billy. It was totally uncalled for. I apologise most sincerely and hope the hurt caused by my thoughtless insensitive comment will soon heal.

  96. doggerelist Says:

    fmk – I started doing that survey on a quiet night some while ago, thinking, fair enough: I criticise them frequently so ought to give them some usable feedback. But as the questions rolled on, I became more and more irritated with the daft and unsubtle options offered, so quit. If they do go down the route of insisting on real IDs, as many of the questions seem to hint, they’ll shoot themselves in the foot – and furthermore, they’ll have not one iota of effect in dealing with Bloggers Behaving Badly….

    ….although as wordnerd points out, a few more weeks of tedious blogs and they may have few Bloggers to Behave Badly….

  97. mishari Says:

    Memo To A Grauniad Editor

    In any sort of medium
    I ask for little more
    Than minimal dull tedium
    Or else I seek the door.

  98. Billy Says:

    I’ll heal, fmk, I’ll heal.

    As for this week’s comments tally on GU, even PotW is struggling. Maybe it’s holiday season? Is there a link to the survey somewhere?

  99. doggerelist Says:

    Going back to those “o’ers”, I forced a little ditty last night with the punchline (which I still like & will try to use elsewhere): “O’erpaid, o’ersex’d, o’er’ere”, although o’erall it was too crap even for ‘ere….

  100. Billy Says:

    Thanks, fmk. Now, in answer to your earlier question, yes, I’ve done it. I’d advise anyone who wants to keep their anonymity on GU to do the same.

  101. freepoland Says:

    Just completed that survey, which came up when I went to post another message condemning the new cif format. The survey is a washout, really. It is about ’sustainability’ and is designed to see if the Guardian can influence its readers to walk more and put drinks containers in the right bin. To me, that is the worst side of the Guardian: its pious belief in a mission to alter behaviour, lifestyle and the rest. Are we a Good, Kind, Responsible and caring Newspaper? Every organisation these days has a mission statement, but only idiots believe in them. I’ll settle for good reporting and intelligent opinion.
    Naturally, I voted to defend anonymity, but in the context it seemed pointless.
    Thanks for the Shakespeare concordance, Billy, and the Wikianswers. ‘Pon my word, shopping is e’er so easy on this site, Steve. Ripe fruit just falls o’er the brink into your wire basket.

  102. doggerelist Says:

    freepoland – just came across your Cif comment – pretty unlikely they’ll ever revert back to a user-friendly format though….they seem to have stopped claiming that they’ll reconsider the pagination & somehow magically speed up their new ad-heavy software….I still check out the Cif index page, but much less frequently now do I read the articles – and have as near as dammit quit commenting there – even though my time frankly isn’t that valuable, I can no longer be bothered to jump through the requisite hoops….

    Am reluctant to renew battle with the G’s worthy questionnaire: I take Billy’s point that we should make our views known on the anonymity issue, but I’ve already done that several times on relevant threads which are no less unrepresentative than the self-selecting group of people who did the questionnaire….if they didn’t listen before, they’re no more likely to this time….as a matter of principle, I never answer personal questions unless absolutely necessary, whether they be ‘phone questionnaires (“we’re not trying to sell you anything, but…” ) or online surveys….

    And yes: we get some great links posted here….I still have to catch up on fmk’s Zizek links from last night….

  103. parallax Says:

    The black and white photo of Elizabeth Bartlett on PoTW is very disconcerting … the hooded eyes and the hooked nose – very avian. I’m totally distracted from her words with that picture. A vulture! god, yes … that’s what the photo reminds me of.

  104. parallax Says:

    or maybe a budgie?

  105. parallax Says:

    Just catching up on this thread:

    Billy@14 “Have you seen freep’s latest on the Memory thread?” Indeed yes, ‘Letter to an Old Friend’ wonderful – but then freep’s words and constructions often leave me gobsmacked. Check this out from Slippage:

    Taking words to oblivion, but leaving
    White shapes in the maelstrom of meanings

    that’s precisely what’s left behind when you connect with someone’s poetry – that after-flash image that stays with you. I have a sneaking suspicion that freep *IS* a poet, well not even a sneaking suspicion more a ’sans nul doute’ impression. Fucking ace.

    mishari@8 “How strange that you should pick up the echoes of it.” hah! that’s great that it connects … also slightly weird … maybe I should set up a tarot reading service, give Jonathan Cainer a run for his money.
    ;)

    doggerelist@23 “anything posted online is fair game for comment.” Yes, absolutely agree steve, it was just that even though I don’t *know* mishari – in the sense that he could run me over in his chariot and not notice, or I could elbow him out of the duty-free queue at Heathrow without a by-your-leave – I still feel that I *know* him and owed him an explanation before I ploughed in with a neo-nazi reading of his poem.

  106. Billy Says:

    parallax: personally I wouldn’t favour passing judgement on anyone based on a photo on the GU books blog. Oh no. ;-)

  107. mishari Says:

    Judging by photos can be a mistake. Take Mills. I got one look at that phiz- the baleful, hooded gaze, the heirloom ‘tache, the Bee Gees circa 1967 haircut- and I thought ‘uh-oh, a wrong ‘un…but do-able.’

    I dispatched a team of my crack ninja assassins to Limerick to ‘deal’ with him. I felt it was my duty. How was I to know that Mills had spent many years in the mysterious Orient, (bong, plink, hiss, ssshhh- insert appropriate inscrutable oriental sounds), studying at the feet of Hoo Da Phuc. Shao-Lin master and heir to Fu Man Chu?

    They came upon Mills in the wooden tea-house that stands mid-lake on his estate. He sat in the lotus position, eyes closed. When they approached, he spoke words of power.Then he summoned up kundalini energy through his chakras, which then shot out of his eyes like beam weapons. My boys were toast. Mills sent me their ashes in an old tub of Kerrygold Irish butter. I got the message. Mend my ways or I was next. I’ve been busy mending ever since.

    My sons have been on a Stargate Sg-1 binge since getting the complete 10 season DVD set recently. I’ve been watching along with them. Can you tell?

    BTW, I haven’t seen a single swallow so far this year. Usually the skies are full of them by this time. How about you non-Londoners? Are you seeing swallows?

  108. Billy Says:

    Not a one, mishari. But then they might have flown into my forcefiled before I saw them.

  109. Billy Says:

    Or forcefield, even.

  110. doggerelist Says:

    Swallows galore here, Mishari – well, the usual goodly handful anyway….there is one who regularly drops by, sits on the top of the open window to this room and entertains me with that peculiar mixture of whistles and clicks….almost tame….M managed to photograph this particular swallow or swallette and that picture is now the computer desktop background….

    Not many moths so far this year though….I usually have to close the window at night lest I get suffocated by hordes of the creatures….but recently, hardly a one….

  111. mishari Says:

    I take it, Bill, that you would usually be seeing swallows by this time, no? And you’ve got them, cs.

    How odd. I always take such pleasure in gazing up at them as they quarter the sky, the glorious aerobatics, the almost insolent ease of their flight. What are those lines of Hopkins?

    High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
    In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing,
    As a skate’s heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
    Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
    Stirred for a bird,–the achieve of, the mastery of the thing!

    I really miss them. I wonder what’s going on?

  112. mishari Says:

    Lovely, cs. I’m envious. So this is in Devon or the south-west, at any rate?

  113. mishari Says:

    BTW, have you noticed that since I took the Grauniad to task for inviting me to ‘join the fray’ and then banning me for, erm, joining the fray, they’ve changed it to ‘join the conversation’.

    I guess they took my advice and looked up ‘fray’ in a dictionary.

  114. doggerelist Says:

    Yup: not too far from Tiverton….the swallows usually arrive here towards the end of April, just before the dairy herds are released from their winter immolation….they thrive on the bugs associated with the cattle….and nest in the numerous decrepit outbuildings….the nests are often taken over in subsequent years by other small birds, such as wrens….they’re surprisingly feisty birds: I’ve seen them divebombing cats….

  115. mishari Says:

    The head of Zimbabwe’s secret police is named Happyton Bonyongwe.

    Happyton? I’ve long known that God, if here is a God, has a dark sense of humour.

  116. mishari Says:

    I’m convinced that the swallows have decided that any city that could elect Boris as mayor is no place to raise kids and are giving London a miss.

  117. mishari Says:

    From the Kuwait Times newspaper, July 10, 2008

    KUWAIT: Sheikha Fariha Al-Ahmad Al-Sabah, the head of the Supreme Committee for the Ideal Mother Competition, has expressed her disappointment at media attacks on her by some writers opposed to the Parliamentary Committee for Studying Negative Phenomena (also known as the ‘Alien Phenomena’ committee).

    This followed attacks on her work in the media after the committee invited her to contribute to its efforts, given her long experience in working with cases of sexual and social deviancy, including gay people and Satanists.

    Sheikha Fariha said that the writers who had launched these attacks were either unfamiliar with the phenomena in question or were consciously attempting to destroy the morality, values and wellbeing of young people in Kuwaiti society. She also claimed that many local websites and other sources in neighboring states hold negative views about Kuwait due to the prevalence of such phenomena here.

    Moreover, she claimed, university lecturers in some neighboring states have started citing examples from Kuwait when addressing the subject of deviancy.
    Sheikha Fariha insisted that it is deviancy alone which causes the phenomenon of homosexuality and that this phenomenon can be successfully treated, with many sufferers coming forward for treatment, knowing that their behavior is abnormal and morally repugnant.

    She said that one local female journalist had written an article about homosexuality which took up a whole page of a local newspaper and suggested that homosexuality is widespread in schools and shopping centers. She added that, following publication of the article, a number of outraged readers had warned the newspaper not to publish any further articles about homosexuality.

    Shopping centres?…and people ask me why I spend so little time in my own country.

  118. Billy Says:

    Steve, I’m surprised you’re not over on GU telling the world how your great marketing tool has boosted sales of your books :-)

  119. doggerelist Says:

    I suppose I could invent a few….as it is, I have nothing to promote but my assonance….

  120. Billy Says:

    And what a lovely one it is.

  121. doggerelist Says:

    I quite enjoy the occasional article/blog like Milway’s….even with an open invite to plug it’s amusing to see who’s shameless and who’s diffident about it….and to be honest, I’ll probably click on some of those blogs in the middle of the night….

    I’ve been tempted to try writing fiction (or more fiction, as there are still some who think my details hereabouts are embellishment)….where I come unstuck is only being able to come up with fragments of ideas – I can never work them into a coherent plot or story….has anyone else here written any fiction?

  122. freepoland Says:

    parallax. Thankyou very much for your kind appreciation at 7.27 this morning. I’m back teaching writing and poetry to old lags in gaol again for the next few weeks, and I can now take in one or two poems to talk about. Since you liked that line about white marks in a maelstrom, I’ll try it out on a few murderers and see what they make of it. I hope for sponsorship from the Central Committee for the Extirpation of Immorality, a new Straw initiative modelled on Kuwaiti principles.
    Liked Happyton, mish. Fyi, there was a breastfeeding counsellor in Newcastle called Mrs Bosomworthy.

  123. fmk Says:

    “I dispatched a team of my crack ninja assassins to Limerick to ‘deal’ with him.”

    LMAO. Even ninjas don’t enter Limerick these days. That is the Bad Lands. Even the Shinners are shocked by the amount of guns going off in that town.

    I have a feeling mish’s ninjas might have bottled the job when they did a quick Google and fed their employer a lot of BS has to what happened.

  124. mishari Says:

    Todays Private Eye alerted all Chav Newkey-Burden fans to an interesting little experiment. Go to Amazon.co.uk. Search Chas. Check the reviews of his ‘books’. One reviewer in particular, username ‘read all about it’, is wildy enthusiastic about wee Chas. Click on this reviewer’s profile. No info. However, click on ‘Wish List’ at the right of the page and this reviewers list of desired books comes up, along with the reviewer’s real name, which is…Chas Newkey-Burden.

    Mucus Man has outdone himself,the pitiful little twerp. I do hope we have another piece from him soon. This is an especially satisfying stick to beat him with…not that I’m a vindictive man..oh, alright, I am…

  125. doggerelist Says:

    Chas is really that dumb? Heh,heh….

  126. obooki Says:

    it’s all good publicity for him, i’m sure. – he’s got a real thing about israel, hasn’t he (and i don’t just mean the gay clubbing scene in tel aviv).

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